What in the Actual F**k is Wrong with Square Enix?
FF7 Remake Chocobo Chick
The picture above says a thousand words and all of them are bad. I have kept a close eye on the Final Fantasy 7 Remake, and most of the screenshots, trailers and promotional art have had me excited for it to come out. Yet, I am flabbergasted at what the fuck I am seeing right now. What the fuck did you do to Carbuncle and the Chocobo chick?! It’s like they photoshopped both of them while they were watching Coneheads in the background and thought… “This is a damn good idea!”
Final Fantasy 14 Carbuncle
If the elongated head was the only issue I could see some redeeming features of these two, but nope. They had to give these poor creatures human like eyes along with an uncanny valley feel that is nightmare fuel to say the least.
I woke up this morning and thought this was a fucking meme. Not in my wildest of dreams would I have imagined Square Enix releasing these abominations upon the world and acting proud of it. These characters are supposed to be DLC that come with the special edition of the game. Who in their right fucking mind would buy these live action remakes gone Sonic the Hedgehog movie pre-community outrage?! I was iffy about the Moogle, but the murder smile grows on you. These creatures of South Park’s Imaginationland though, not so much…
Final Fantasy XV Carbuncle
Come on, Square Enix! Is this some ploy to pull a Sonic, so you can delay the game some more so you can polish it? Is Ashton Kutcher going to be in the next trailer punking us while you turn this game into a live action movie? I would love to know how many people this went through before the social media team got it and no one went, “What the fuck is wrong with their heads?” Did your QA team take a fucking vacation?
You guys did it right multiple times with the Final Fantasy XI and XIV’s Carbuncle and Chocobo chick. Hell the Final Fantasy XV’s Carbuncle and Chocobo chick looked right and cute. This… this though!? Jesus Christ, did you even fucking try?
